Thursday, May 29, 2008

Testosterone: Sexual Jet Fuel

“So, if anatomy is destiny then testosterone is doom.”—Al Goldstein

Why do men’s sexual jet engines stay revved up and ready for take off? Adult males produce ten to one hundred times more testosterone than women do. Like an eight-lane runway, the male brain unzips along at the speed of sex.

Testosterone is nature’s aphrodisiac. Both men and women with high levels of testosterone engage in more sex.

Effects of Testosterone on Women

Middle-aged women with a low libido take testosterone to increase sexual desire.

Many women experience more sexual desire when testosterone levels are higher around ovulation.

Estrogen-deprived, menopausal women feel testosterone’s effect, desiring more sex.

Effects of Testosterone on Men
Single men have higher levels of testosterone than married men do.

Soldiers with high-testosterone are more likely to—

  • get in trouble with the law
  • use drugs and alcohol
  • have 10 or more sex partners in a year.

Athletes who inject testosterone have more—

  • sexual thoughts
  • morning erections
  • sexual encounters
  • orgasms.

Men with high levels of testosterone—

  • marry less frequently
  • have more adulterous affairs
  • commit more spousal abuse
  • divorce more often.

Testosterone ignites sexual desire in the brain and the genitals—for both men and women. The more testosterone one has, the more wild oats one feels compelled to sow.

Engine Performance

Test pilots take risks by flying higher and faster. To sexually soar at top speed, fast guys on turbo-charged testosterone push the throttle forward. And if there is an unexpected crash landing, what then? What are the advantages of a co-pilot who dares, “You might want to pull the throttle back.”?

What word of caution did I give my sons? “Keep it in the hanger, boys.”

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Double Standards?

“An oxymoron is a figure of speech that stands for a self-contradictory expression like a chaste whore or an honest politician?”—
Evan Esar

Men Want More Sexual Partners Than Women
Men like to have higher numbers of sexual partners than women do. Research by psychologist Dr. David Buss showed that the average number of sexual partners women would like to have in their lifetime is 4.5. Men would like eighteen.

A behavioral study by Clark and Hatfield confirmed this difference. Male and female researchers asked college students three questions:

1. Would you go on a date with me? 50% of the men and women agreed.
2. Would you come back to my place with me? 69% of men and 6% of women agreed.
3. Would you have sex with me? 75% of men agreed. 0% of women agreed.

The Oxymoronic Pendulum
The pendulum swings between pro-sex-as-liberation to anti-sex-as-danger. Women have swung from feeling shamed by religionists for feeling desire and even worse when caught. Now the dishonesty of political correctness shames women when we admit, “I want love and commitment.”

Cultural pressure screams, “Just do it!” Women finally gained sexual equality. How does that same culture react when women make the same sexual choices as men? Just compare the labels that judge sexually active females and males.


The Fall Guy
Maybe sexual liberation is not the fall guy. We fall to guys because we desire to be liked, accepted, loved, and cherished. There is no double standard when women courageously resist the oxymoronic sexual rituals of culture, men, friends, or peer pressure.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Is Casual Sex Bittersweet?

"It would not be better for mankind if they were given their desires.” — Heraclitus
Oxymoron means self-contradictory or absurd. It is an incongruous term that makes a statement. In ancient Greece, oxus meant "sharp; pointed" and moros meant "dull; stupid; foolish."

Is sexual frustration more disagreeable than casual intimacy? Is there an absolute possibility that casual sex is bittersweet? Safe sex can leave a woman a little pregnant. Hooking up may leave you feeling alone together.

Is Free Love Too Expensive?
The profound metaphor in Oscar Wilde’s famous book, The Picture of Dorian Gray, reveals hideous consequences. The handsome young man named Dorian Gray becomes obsessed with maintaining his youthful appearance. He gambles away his soul. His wish is granted: His portrait ages, taking on the consequences of his sensual lifestyle—while he remains youthful.

Some claim that using sex in the search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness. When Dorian Gray dies, his picture reverts to its original youthful appearance. His dead body reveals the ugliness of his sensual quests.

Oxymoronic Sexual Practices
Barna surveys report that four out of ten of every born again adult does not rely upon the Bible as a primary source for moral guidance. His surveys reveal:

* Most people do not believe there is any source of absolute moral truth.

* Christians are off the mark regarding sexual fidelity.

* Christians condone traditionally forbidden sexual behaviors.

* Each year what is morally acceptable declines. Morally acceptable behavior includes cohabitation (60%), adultery (42%), sexual fantasies (59%), and pornography (38%).

Would a single, sexually pure Jesus consider an immoral Christian a contradiction in terms and faith?

Belief in Truth
G. K. Chesterton observed, "Free verse is like free love; it is a contradiction in terms." Sexual purity reveals the brush strokes of a spiritual inner portrait, letting others see inner strength and beauty.

Fascinated by the paradoxes of everyday life, Friedrich Nietzsche observed, “Belief in truth begins with doubting all that has hitherto been believed to be true.”

Think about the oxymorons below. Why are true love counterfeits easier to trust than sincere truth? What false truths do you believe and act upon?

Casual intimacy
Absolute possibility
Casual sex
Safe sex
A little pregnant
Hooking up
Alone together
Immoral Christian
Free love
True love counterfeits
False truths

Friday, May 16, 2008

Oral Sex: Social Transition or Social Norm?

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.”—Stephen R. Covey
Study: Half of All Teens Have Had Oral Sex
Author of Unhooked, Laura Sessions Stepp reported in the Washington Post, "Slightly more than half of American teenagers ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex, with females and males reporting similar levels of experience, according to the most comprehensive national survey of sexual behaviors ever released by the federal government."

Based on in-person interviews, surveys available at The National Center for Health Statistics also reveal:

* The percentage of those engaging in oral sex increases with age to about 70 percent of all 18- and 19-year-olds.

* One in four virgin teens has engaged in oral sex.

* Among adult males 25-44 years of age, 97 percent have had vaginal intercourse, 90 percent have had oral sex with a female. Among women, the proportions who have had sexual contact with an opposite-sex partner were similar.

Is Oral Sex Safer Sex?
When weighing the pros and cons of intercourse versus oral sex, it’s obvious that oral sex cannot impregnate a woman.

Propelled into solo parenthood by an unfaithful husband, I faced many surprises. One was the numbers of adult singles engaging in risky sex. Many believed that oral sex was safer than intercourse. I do not recall anyone regaling the joys of oral sex ever mentioning this fact: Oral sex spreads STDs, including gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and the human papillomavirus, which has been linked to cervical cancer. They seemed more preoccupied with comparing size—width and length.

One friend felt chemistry with a new male acquaintance, when her fiancĂ© was out of town. To remain “faithful” to their commitment, she performed oral sex instead of engaging in sexual intercourse. Morally, she considered oral sex acceptable, because it’s not “real” sex (a.k.a. “The Monica” and Bill Clinton’s definition).

Asking Questions
Is the "real" question really “What is safe sex?” Are we asking ourselves questions that turn our ears to wisdom? Are we applying our hearts to understanding?

Why am I more preoccupied with having fun and meeting my sexual desires rather than anticipating the consequences?

Is it important for me to remain faithful to my body, my heart and myself?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Women Less Attractive to Men After Sex

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”—Anonymous

Once upon a time there was a cow, a pig and a hen living on a farm by a busy highway.

The cow said, “Let’s start a drive-thru restaurant called “Coffee and Free Cream to Go.”

“That’s a great idea,” said the hen. “ We’ll only work mornings. Let’s offer a cheap “Ham ‘n Eggs’ breakfast special, too.”

“Sounds interesting," the pig said. "Let me think about it.”

The cow and the hen tried to persuade the pig to chip in, “It’ll be fun. We’ll be equal partners and share the profits. It’s win-win for everybody.”

The pig said,“That’s not the way I see it. Your contributions—the milk and the eggs—are free. They don’t cost you anything. I’m the only one that has to make a commitment.”

Fast Food Leftovers

A 2001 survey of 200 daters, conducted by psychologist Martie Haselton and Dr. David Buss, revealed conclusively that men found their partners less attractive and sexy after first-time sex than they did before. And the more partners a man had had, the more likely he was to think his lover was unattractive in the morning. In contrast, women always found their partners more sexy, regardless of their number of previous partners.

Dairy-free Living

Based upon these statistics, why would women seeking love, commitment and marriage ignore Granny's advice, "Why buy the cow (pig) when you can get the milk (ham) for free?"